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ain't it a shame
to be so young and insane
Recent Entries 
9th-May-2016 08:23 pm(no subject)
smileeeee maru
(i kind of think this is the coolest idea ever.) 

I want anybody and everybody who comes across this to leave me an anonymous comment. 
It can be anything you want. 
A story. A secret. A confession. A fear. A love. ANYTHING. 
Just post anonymously and honestly.
25th-Feb-2009 10:07 pm(no subject)
electric pole
it's my dad's birthday tomorrow, and he wanted me to draw a picture of myself for his present. as i have $3.70 in my bank account, i thought it was an excellent idea.

recently, i've been really into using black and silver sharpie as my only mediums in my drawings, so i did that this time again and i'm very pleased with the result. pleased enough to post it, even.

this is the closest to a picture of myself i think i'm ever gonna post, and the first non-fanart peice of art i've ever shown online.

it's actually a shockingly good likeness, and even features my favorite/ever present as of late hat. it's one of the better things i've drawn in such a short time and i kind of don't want to give it up.

my handwriting is awful. it's been so long since i held a pen for something other than drawing. even my signature looks lamer than normal. i should start writing by pen more.

 i need to get the fuck out of my own head. it's not even like my thoughts are that disturbing right now or anything; i've had far worse. it's just so so so so much. i'm annoying the fuck out of myself, thinking in circles and circles and repeating words where they don't really really need to be.

i should try to sleep. it's 4 fucking AM. i should be sleeping. i'm pretty exhausted.

but trying to sleep means laying in bed for at least an hour, trying to get my brain to shut off. and in this state? that's never gonna fucking happen.

it's weird, my thoughts are jittery, fast. they seem to zing from one side of my brain to the other (and then back around in an endless loop of annoyning, curse-filled inner monologue) but my fingers are slow, heavy on the keys and my eyes don't want to stay open.

i won't be able to sleep. on the best of nights, when my brain's as tired as my body, it takes forever to sleep. and i'm so pissed, i don't think i could take laying in bed for hours, damning my insomnia. and probably damning everything else in creation as well. 

and even if i can, what then? i'll have 5 good hours of restlessness and nightmares, and then my phone will ring for the first time and i'll start a 3 hour long cycle of pleading with my dad for more time to sleep. when i finally give up and get up, i'll have 8 shitty hours under my belt, in comparison to yesterday's 7, and a couple awkward phone calls to make. i'll spend the day too tired to move, too tired to fulfill my meager obligations, far too tired to crack open my math book and study.

insomnia fucking sucks. my brain fucking sucks. 4-year-olds fucking suck. heartburn fucking sucks. online shopping fucking sucks.
9th-Jan-2009 02:04 am - [oneshot] Obsession
electric pole
Title: Obsession
Pairing/Group: Shigebo (Shige/Ueda)
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Naked Nagase, cussing, premarital sex and probable epic OOCness.
Notes: Written for no1_jo for je_holiday. It's pretty much just crack with some smut tagged on the end. Beta'd/encouraged by nexttwentylove and other non-lj users. At one point, I mention last.fm so if anyone doesn’t know what that is, take a look at the wiki page and then get one. Because they rock.
Summary: Ueda find himself obsessed with Shige’s voice. Awkward stalking and fanboying ensues.

The prospect of kidnapping his kohai probably shouldn't sound as pleasant as it does.Collapse )

22nd-Dec-2008 10:57 pm - [fan tattoo] and [fan cake]
electric pole
Finally getting around to posting this.

My brother is kind of super into tattoos, and i've been drawing an infinity sign on my wrist for months. so, for my birthday, he decided to get it inked for real. that's right, i now have an eito tattoo.

more on the tattooCollapse )

I also had an eito cake at my birthday party:

more cake related flailCollapse )
2nd-Dec-2008 07:11 pm - [one-shot] withering
uchi (!!!!)
Title: Withering
Length: Oneshot, 1,664 words
Author: inappropri8 
Genre:  secret agent!AU, angst, (still)
Rating:  PG-13 (still)
Pairing: Written as Ryo/Uchi. But so damn vague it could go any way (still)
Warnings: 2nd person again. And angsty, again. (still)
Comments: I just couldn’t leave it well enough alone, could I? This is a follow up to Not That You’d Admit It. It ended far too sad for my taste and I can’t have even vague-almost-kind-of-possible character death. Told from the opposite point of view as the last one, still second person, still vague enough for any pairing.

You’re not enough, either. Not enough to kill him; not enough to love him.Collapse )

1st-Dec-2008 11:01 pm - [one-shot] Not That You'd Admit It
Title: Not that you’d admit it.
Length: Oneshot, 1,446 words
Genre: secret agent!AU, angst,
Rating: Pg-13 for language and mentions of sex
Pairing: Written as Ryo/Uchi. But so damn vague it could go any way.
Warnings: 2nd person again. And angsty, again.
Comments: Inspired by James Bond. Was forced to see it, so of course I made it gay. This is not what you’re expecting, I bet. It’s vague and not fun au-y at all. The names of the characters are never established, so, like it says above, you can pretend they’re whoever you want. It’s kind of weird, but it’s what came out, so whatever.

secret agent man dun dun DUNCollapse )
29th-Nov-2008 11:45 pm - 'tis Junno's birthday!!!!
electric pole
Yes, it's the day the lovely, amazing, punny, adorable, super underrated Taguchi Junnosuke was born! in celebration of this fact, i drew some fanart. it took me, like, ten minutes so it's pretty crappy and there's barely any likeness (i think if he wasn't smiling in the drawing you wouldn't be able to tell who he is at all) but whatever. there should be more junno lovin'. even if it's poorly drawn.

courteous cutCollapse )

20th-Nov-2008 03:35 am - [one shot] You are Invisible
Title: You are Invisible
Length: Oneshot, 4,073 words
Author: inappropri8 
Genre: AU, angst, vaguely fluffy sappy bits at the end
Rating: R for sexual situations and language
Pairing: Subassan,
Warnings: 2nd person angstiness.
Comments: I don't even know. i totally should not have written this, i have, like, 5 fics i'm actually supposed to write already. but yesterday morning this just came out, so i let it go where it wanted. it wanted to somewhere weird.

Because now you’re aware of the world around you, understand it; know what a rotten place it is. Because the world sucks. And for being part of it, you suck too.Collapse )

31st-Oct-2008 09:31 pm - Eito Pumpkin(s)
It's totally still Halloween where I am. I'm so not late.

Eito Pumpkin MadnessCollapse )

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